M/I Baby Won't Feed: a natural solution.

This is a not unusual, stressful situation for mothers and one to which I think my evolutionary theorising is directly relevant, and provides a solution. I will begin with an example.

When discussing my ideas once with a friend she put forward her experience with her third baby as a counter argument: without any identifiable reason, the baby had been incredibly difficult to feed; hours of coaxing were needed each time. The baby was completely healthy just as her previous two and there had been no problem with either of them. But when I asked how was the pregnancy -- "Oh! Well?.. I've never told anyone?.? it all came out. It had been awful, not physically in any way, but she had been, but she didn't use the actual word, afraid. She had not wanted to take the risk of a third child; they had two beautiful healthy children why take the risk? Of course sometimes it felt good during the pregnancy, but in reality it had been nine months of anxiety that the baby would be born with some defect; a hidden anxiety that she never spoke of. For me this was confirmation, if only anecdotal, of my theory of mutuality in the mother/infant dyad.

There is plenty of evidence for the effects of the mother's mental condition on the growing foetus, see for example Piontelli's (1992) work. I was probably much influenced by my years of reading science fiction and the many stories dealing with super babies in the womb. But this sort of story does not arise without influence from the hominin psyche, and I have suggested that the Homo infant arrives in the world primed for the circumstances it will find, for which there is also evidence from other people's research. A mother under stress throughout the pregnancy impresses the information that it will be entering a hostile environment (in the Pleistocene perhaps a long drought) and must enhance its prospects of survival by restraining its demands on its vulnerable mother. The inherent response is to restrict feeding, about the only response a newborn can make. Of course the modern mother struggling to encourage her reluctant baby to feed would only become more and more stressed which would strengthen that response.

We must consider the baby's (survival) response to the mother's behaviour: when it does not feed she continues to hold it and pay attention to it; once fully fed it is put down and left/abandoned. The neonate lives in the present, every absence of mother is a total abandonment. So its behaviour of not feeding works exactly as it was evolved to work, it results in the baby remaining with its mother. (See chapter 9 of Created in the Image and The First Year of Life?..)

The solution is to work with our evolutionary heritage and not against it.

I have already suggested in a previous Update that babies should be kept close to their mothers, in a sling on their chest when that is possible but otherwise where they can see and hear their mother when they are awake. Feeding should happen while the mother is also eating or drinking in the "taking turns pattern" that I have described in chapter 9, with the mother going first of course. The baby should be held on the lap while the mother eats one-handed, but the greatest care will need to be taken when eating hot food. Personally I would stick to lukewarm food, and hot drinks could be taken using safety non-spill beakers. I have heard of a case of a baby seriously scalded when held on its mother's lap at table so I stress that care is needed, but a baby is not going to be aware that its mother is feeding if not in bodily contact: skin to skin would be best, and could be managed at breakfast I imagine but would be difficult throughout the day. For this regime of course a mother will need to have a number of small meals at intervals, but only for a few weeks I think, maybe only a few days. Initially, the mother should eat a little then hold the baby to the breast, if it won't suckle continue eating a little then hold it to the breast again in a relaxed way and so on until that meal is finished. If it still won't feed keep it near or on the body while doing some work and try with another small meal a bit later, and so on. The baby needs reassurance that it will not be abandoned and also reassurance that the mother is well supplied and secure (so she should eat with relaxed enjoyment). I'm talking at the instinctive level of course, but chatting to the baby about how things are, plenty of food in the fridge, what she fancies for lunch later etc is always a good idea as it will help relax the mother.

On the Pleistocene savannah mother and infant would have done everything together and that I think is the natural solution to many of today's child-rearing problems.